Sunday, January 30, 2005

Confessions of an Atheist

For those of you who don’t know, I was raised as a Christian. I was actually a very devout one for much of my youth. My father is an ordained minister who preaches to a small congregation in a humble country church in rural Maine. As a child, one of the only things I sure of was that there was a God, and he loved me…so much so that he sent his son Jesus Christ to die on the cross to atone for my sins since I was unable to do so for myself. I didn’t know much, but I knew that I was going to join them in the Kingdom of Heaven when I died.

In my teenage years, my faith waned and waxed with the frequency that might be expected for someone who was trying to find their identity; questioning every aspect of their world, while at the same time grasping desperately for some kind of stability in the turmoil of adolescence. Confusion: that is what being a teenager is all about. I remember sitting in freshman English class, studying Greek mythology. My teacher, almost in passing, noted that the legends that we were reading predated Judaism. “What?” I thought to myself, “That can’t be right… that would mean that people worshiped Zeus and Apollo before anyone worshiped my God…how could this be?” Of course this didn’t completely shake my belief system, but it did sow the first seed of doubt in my mind.

I can pinpoint to the instant when my admittedly feeble intellect bested my weakened spirituality and I ultimately lost my faith. The day was April 23rd 1996 and I was in the most ironic of locations for such an anti-epiphany: The Church of the Holy Sepulcher in Jerusalem. The actual moment came shortly after I had witnessed a Greek Orthodox cleric and a Catholic monk come to blows just a few meters from The Aedicule (a structure believed to be constructed upon the location of Christ’s tomb). So many various Christian sects claim to be the adherents to the true path of righteousness; exclusive to any other. They cannot seem to find any consensus. In fact, the poor Ethiopians are not even allowed inside at all and are relegated to hovels outside the church itself. It dawned on me that if there was any shred truth to Christianity, God would certainly not allow this state of affairs to continue.

I had been struggling with the rational inconsistencies of Christianity for some time. I had hoped that a pilgrimage to the Holy Land might rejuvenate my faith. In reality, it caused me to reject it all together. At the moment when I realized that I didn’t believe in this crap anymore, I wept openly because I finally knew that I was on my own. No one seemed to notice, since fits of religious euphoria are a common sight in such places.

You see, I didn’t want to be an atheist. To be honest, my religion was very comforting. I could rely on someone or something else to compensate for the failings of my own strength of will. In many ways, it absolved me from my own personal responsibility. It saved me from having to develop my own moral standards to regulate my social conduct. It offered explanations to help me cope with unfortunate events in my life. I could always fall back on the magic words: “God has a plan.” and take solace in them. It helped to define my place in the universe. It gave me purpose. The problem was that I just didn’t believe it anymore… any of it. I simply couldn’t continue with the contortions of logic that were necessary in order to reconcile dogma with the rational universe. If there are answers out there, I now believe that they will be discovered through scientific method, not from the doctrine of some Neo-Judaic cult that existed in relative obscurity for hundreds of years until sanctioned by Emperor Constantine in the fourth century. I don’t deny the existence of the divine, but I don’t advocate it either. I simply don’t know. I don’t believe that our species has yet developed the mental faculty to truly understand a higher power if it does indeed exist. How arrogant it is for a bunch of primitive, naked apes on an insignificant rock in the outskirts of a back-water galaxy to claim to know the mind of God!

There is an upside to my fall from grace… In a very real sense I feel liberated. I am free to assess ideas and accept them or reject them based upon their own merit. I still retain concepts of right and wrong based upon my own sense of empathy and my rational understanding of social interaction, but I have no concept of sin as such and therefore I have shed the irrational guilt associated with it. I still have a conscience and I still have a strong concept of ethics, but I no longer require religion to define these things for me.

I think that this last point is where I take issue with profoundly religious people. I don’t like to consider myself to be judgmental of other people’s beliefs, but I often find my self drawing the conclusion that religion makes people intellectually and morally lazy. Rather than evaluating issues rationally, many find it easier to fall back on dogma to tell them what to think. For example, when someone claims that homosexuality is wrong and they are challenged to justify this statement, they simply retort that the Bible says that it is an abomination in the eyes of God. You’ll have to do better than that; especially if you wish to pass laws that affect people that don’t adhere to your particular religious doctrine.

At the same time, I don’t believe that we should be hypersensitive to any inclusion of religion in our society. I am amazed at the actions of people such as atheist activist Michael Newdow, who has wasted so much time and effort trying to erase the phrase “under God” from the pledge of allegiance. Who cares? The establishment clause in the first amendment of the United States constitution simply says that the federal government cannot establish a specific state religion, such as the Anglican Church of England (oddly, it is absolutely silent about the rights of individual states to do so). A vague reference to an unnamed monotheistic deity doesn’t even come close to meeting this criterion; it is simply an acknowledgement of the common belief system held by the nation’s founders and the vast majority of Americans today. I personally don’t have a problem with this. It is when specific religiously mandated conduct is arbitrarily forced upon Americans that I get upset.

Religion plays a vital role in human society. As much as I am troubled by the idea, I realize that many people lack the fortitude to function without the reassurance of their faith. How many people are prevented from degenerating into sociopaths simply by the concept of eternal punishment for their behavior? I am not averse to the notion that there is a metaphysical facet to our existence. As I have mentioned in previous posts, the phenomenon of the healing power of prayer has been scientifically studied and documented. The human mind is an extremely complex mechanism. Its power to influence our reality is only now beginning to be explored much less understood. I believe that religion may be a technique to harness the power of the collective subconscious without actually understanding the actual processes that are at work. What worries me is the fact that for the weak minded, the overriding influence of religion can easily be manipulated by the unscrupulous to persuade otherwise good people to willingly perform unspeakably evil acts. This tendency has presented itself time and again throughout history and is the source of so much of the strife in our world today.

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Shut the fuck up Ted…We owe the Iraqi people better.

Last Thursday, Senator Edward Kennedy of Massachusetts called for the withdrawal of American troops from Iraq while addressing the Johns Hopkins University's School of Advanced International Studies. Now don’t misunderstand me, Senator Kennedy is entitled to think and say whatever he pleases, and this is certainly not the first time he has voiced his displeasure with the Bush administration’s Iraq policy. Although I personally disagree with the premise of almost all of his arguments, I would normally not object to the senator flapping his gums on an issue that he obviously doesn’t comprehend. My complaint is with the timing of his statements.

Kennedy said, “We can't defeat the insurgency militarily if we don't effectively address the political context in which the insurgency flourishes. Our military and the insurgents are fighting for the same thing. The hearts and minds of the people, and that is a battle we are not winning. At least 12,000 American troops -- probably more -- should leave at once, to send a strong signal about our intentions and to ease the pervasive sense of occupation.” What productive result could possibly be derived from such a blatantly pessimistic tirade just days from the Iraqi elections? The answer: none. The truth is, we are addressing the political context of this insurgency. That is what the elections are all about. Despite what the senator would have you believe, the insurgents represent only the smallest minority of Iraqis… a large percentage are not even Iraqi at all. When murderers such as Abu Musab al-Zarqawi (himself a foreigner in Iraq) make statements like “We have declared a fierce war on this evil principle of democracy and those who follow this wrong ideology,” it is clear to me that they do not hold the best interests of the Iraqi people at heart.

I am no expert, but I do have some small amount of experience with the Iraqi people…certainly more than a privileged drunk from Hyannis who conducts himself like some kind of feudal lord on the Senate floor. The vast majority of Iraqis live in mortal fear of the insurgents and do not support their views. I will admit that many do, to some extent, resent the presence of American troops. Some view them as occupiers (a feeling that I would probably share if I were in their situation) but most genuinely want to move forward and make Iraq a viable and peaceful nation in which to raise their children. They understand that right now they need our help to accomplish this.

The senator described the situation as such: “We have reached the point that a prolonged American military presence in Iraq is no longer productive for either Iraq or the United States. The US military presence has become part of the problem, not part of the solution. No matter how many times the administration denies it, there is no question they misled the nation and led us into a quagmire in Iraq. Despite the clear lesson of history, the president stubbornly clings to the false hope that the turning point is just around the corner.” Kennedy’s statements offer no new insight into Iraq’s problems and do nothing to alleviate the challenges that they face. Whatever your views on the merits of the war or the administration’s intentions for our involvement, I think it is obvious to any rational person that a sudden and total withdrawal at this point would have disastrous ramifications to the Iraqi political process. These elections, as imperfect as they may be, are crucial to the goal of stabilizing the political landscape in Iraq and laying the foundation for a legitimate and sovereign Iraqi nation. For better or worse, we have created this mess, to not attempt to clean it up would not only be morally irresponsible, but detrimental to global security because it would create a power vacuum in an already unstable region.

Kennedy’s use of the word “quagmire” is an obvious allusion to the Vietnam war, to which the senator has compared this operation many times in the past. I have news for you: this is not Vietnam. It is nothing like Vietnam. It bears no resemblance tactically, strategically or politically. To make direct comparisons of these two conflicts is both intellectually dishonest and non-productive.

In my opinion, it is not feasible for the United States to completely solve Iraq’s political, economic or social woes. This does not mean however, that we have the right to abandon them and leave them to the nonexistent mercy of thugs and murderers, without even the basic infrastructure to provide for themselves. To do so would be reprehensible. Tomorrow’s election is a major step toward fulfilling our obligation to Iraq, and ultimately extricating ourselves from this situation.

As someone who has fought in Iraq and is facing an almost inevitable return in the near future, I have much at stake personally in the outcome of these events. I want us out of Iraq probably more than Senator Kennedy does. However, I cannot in good conscience advocate abandoning the Iraqi people at such a crucial juncture. Senator Kennedy’s irresponsible rantings at this point in time only serve to bolster the morale of the insurgency and erode support for the legitimate political process. This shows me that he is more interested in partisanship than the well being of either the people of Iraq or the American servicemen and women deployed there. It is apparent that Ted Kennedy despises the Bush administration to such a degree that he actually wants these elections to fail. I am not a cheerleader for President Bush, but I find this attitude simply repugnant. This isn’t about Bush anymore. Regardless of whether or not one feels that he was justified in starting this war in the first place, what’s done is done. We must see this through until the Iraqis can take care of themselves once more. Once this has been accomplished, it will be time for us to go. The time table for our exit must be based upon the expressed needs and desires of the legitimately elected Iraqi government. To abandon these people now would be nothing less than a crime against humanity.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

My Top Ten Favorite Canadians

10. Mike Myers

9. John C. Garand

8. Penny Phang

7. William Shatner

6. Neil Young

5. Lexa Doig

4. Phil Hartman

3. Atomic Betty

2. Tracey

1. Grace Park

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Kimchi

I had the day off today. I must be getting old. Time was, when I found out that I was blessed with a four-day weekend I could hardly contain my enthusiasm. Now I complain about it. I actually caught myself lamenting that I needed a long weekend like I needed a hole in the head because I had too much work to get done. Ok, I am officially scared… I used to be the laziest motherfucker I knew. When did I become a workaholic? Well, I’m not really. I just have too many responsibilities that I can’t pawn off to anyone else right now, so lately I’ve ended up staying at my desk well into the night. At any rate, I went in to my office for a few hours today (just as I did yesterday), but resolved to leave while there was still some daylight left.

Just as I was preparing to leave, my wife called and asked if I could stop by the Korean grocery on the way home and pick up a jar of kimchi. For those of you who may be unfamiliar with this gastronomic delight, kimchi is essentially spicy pickled cabbage and it is (along with rice) a primary staple of the Korean diet. This description is a severe over-simplification, and not entirely accurate (since kimchi can be made from most anything; not just cabbage) but for our purposes it shall suffice.

For most American palettes, kimchi is just a bit too…exotic. Honestly, most Americans recoil at its very smell, which can be a little overpowering to the uninitiated. When I lived in Korea many years ago, a few Americans would complain that Korean people reeked of the stuff. Although this was indeed true, I would gently remind them that to most of them, we smelled like bad cheese due to our high dairy intake. The unique aroma never bothered me much though. To tell the truth, the scent always seemed vaguely erotic to me since it reminded me of making out with pretty Korean girls. These days, I can seldom discern the presence of the odor. I have become far too accustomed to it, since I eat as much of the stuff as any Korean.

Anyway, today I made a detour from my usual homeward route and found my way to the Seoul market. Upon my arrival, a bizarre, yet almost imperceptible transformation took place. I suddenly (and completely unconsciously) left my own native culture and language at the door and metamorphosized into a Korean trapped in a white person’s body. All I did was walk in; buy a small bag of peppers, a jar of kimchi and two bags of shrimp crackers (on which, my wife is noisily munching away as I write this). I was in and out less than five minutes. No big deal right? Well, it was not until I was leaving that I noticed that a fellow patron, a Korean woman who appeared to be about my age, was gawking at me as if I was crazy.

What the hell is she staring at?

Suddenly it dawned on me. I had come in, greeted the shopkeeper, asked for help finding the items on my list, read and compared the labels on the packaging, complained about the cold weather, paid for my food and said goodbye all without speaking a single word of English. What’s more, I realized that all of my mannerisms were a pantomime of Korean customs. The slight bows, using both hands to pass my credit card to the cashier…everything I did. I hadn’t done this on purpose. I lived with Koreans for so long that when I am around them, I sometimes forget that I am not one of them. I realized that it must have seemed bizarre to someone who didn’t know me to see me act this way. Not because I was making an effort to fit in, but because I seemed to do be doing it so naturally. For example, even though my mastery of the Korean language falls far short of what I would like it to be, I fake it damned well. I understand far more than I speak. What I do speak though, I speak like a Seoul native…that is to say with a distinct Seoul accent. Perhaps that is what threw this woman off. Perhaps she saw me after she heard me speak and it confused her. If she had known that I had tapped out nearly my entire lexicon in the few seconds that I spoke with the cashier, she would not have been as impressed. The fact that I was answering rather complex conversational questions posed to me was simply because I am usually able to pickup on key words, guess the meaning of the overall statement and answer accordingly. I am like talking to a magic 8-ball; I only appear to give coherent answers.

I guess that I have always had the ability to subconsciously pick up on accents and gestures. I am told that it is an important skill in establishing rapport, but I wish that I would be more aware of when I am doing it . I often catch myself falling into the same accent as the person with whom I am speaking. Sometimes, it can be a little embarrassing because although everyone knows that I am from Massachusetts, one would never guess if I happened to be in a room full of Texans. No body has ever mentioned it to me though. Perhaps we are less likely to notice any abnormality if someone happens to be speaking in the same manner that we are; or perhaps people have simply been polite and have never pointed out my chameleon speech.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Willie, Allah, Biodiesel and Me

I came across a news story the other day about country music legend Willie Nelson’s latest project: a new company offering biodiesel for public consumption. Biodiesel is an alternative fuel made from renewable fats and vegetable oils that may be used in any existing diesel engine. Translation: it is nothing more than recycled cooking oil. Yes, believe it or not, a Diesel engine will run off of the contents of a McDonald's deep frier. I believe that Mr. Nelson should be commended for this initiative. It makes a lot of sense to me for a whole host of reasons. I have wondered for some time when this fuel source would receive any amount of public exposure. The United States government has been subsidizing farmers not to grow crops for years. The potential surplus of grain that could be grown could easily be used to alleviate much of our dependence on foreign oil.

I hesitate to call myself an environmentalist. I care about the environment to be sure, but the term environmentalist holds too many negative connotations for me. The modern environmentalist movement has been completely hijacked by the ultra-left anti-capitalist crowd. These avowed socialists and communists have used environmental concerns, both real and manufactured, to attack free mercantilism for years. I certainly do not place myself into this category. Put simply, I believe that it is the entrepreneurial spirit that has made modern civilization great, where as socialism, while supposedly high minded in its ideals, can ultimately only lead to oppression.

That said, I believe that there are circumstances where tough decisions must be made, and the good of the planet should be placed ahead of corporate bottom lines. The elimination of fossil fuel use is one of those decisions. I am not talking about the myth of global warming (yes, the global mean temperature does seem to be rising, however if we want to put a stop to that, we should petition a U.N. resolution banning all volcanic activity, since this is where the vast majority of green house gasses emanate from. Of course, developing countries would be exempted from compliance.) I am talking about our near total reliance on foreign (read Middle Eastern) oil.

My belief in energy independence is not completely driven by economic sensibilities but is actually rooted in geo-politics. At the risk of sounding politically incorrect, the greatest threat to global civilization today is not capitalism but militant Islam. My personal experience has shown me that Islam is not a religion of peace as so many have clamed; it is in fact a philosophy of oppression, intolerance and racism. It preaches dominance, and thus cannot, by its nature, tolerate coexistence with other points of view… especially if those other points of view include Judaism. Muslims around the world do not hate America because of some perceived transgression that we have imposed upon them, but simply because we exist and we don’t share their viewpoint. Many have said that this is simply due to a small lunatic fringe. This forces me to ask why the rest have not disavowed them. The silence is deafening.

I don’t wish for anyone who reads this get the impression that have anything against Arabs or any other ethnicity that may happen to be predominantly Muslim. I just think that their religion is ignorant and assed backward. They shouldn’t take this personally… I don’t particularly care for Christianity either. Don’t confuse my criticism of culture with racism. There are no inherent differences between the constituent races of humanity that would in any way cause them to be less than equal to each other. People are people. On this eve of Martin Luther King Day, I would paraphrase Dr. King by saying that each person should be judged by the content of their character, not by the color of their skin. It does not follow in my mind however, that since people are equal, the cultures that they develop necessarily are. I have drawn a lot of criticism for this point of view. There are myriad reasons why cultures have developed at different rates throughout history and some came to dominate; availability of natural resources, location along lines of trade, development of agriculture etc… but racial superiority or inferiority was never a factor. I am simply saying that a society in which its people live without even basic human rights cannot be considered to be on cultural parity with our own (as admittedly flawed as it may be).

I was talking to a friend of mine recently about how we have arrived at the point where we seem to be rapidly coming to a global impasse with Islam. We were discussing the fact that although Islam has existed for over a millennium, it had not been a thorn in the side of the west since the Middle Ages. This began to change about fifty years ago. I postulated that there were two factors that contributed to the awakening of this sleeping giant. One was the formation of the state of Israel; this has given a focus of racial hatred that has galvanized Islamic society. The second factor was the development of oil resources in the Middle East. Suddenly, a bunch of goat herders became wealthy beyond comprehension. The most dangerous Muslim element appears to be the Wahabists, a radical orthodox faction that formed in the eighteenth century by Muhammad ibn-Abd-al-Wahab (1703–1792),in what is now Saudi Arabia. It regards all other sects as heretical. Adherents to Wahabism comprise groups such as Al Qeida. This sect was obscure and virtually unknown in the west for much of its existence. Its massive increase in influence came only after some of its most prominent followers became rich; much like Christianity under the Roman emperor Constantine.

It occurs to me that the one of the best ways to deal with this threat in the long term is to deprive them of their financial resources gained from oil revenue rather than open military confrontation. Eventually they will fall back into the political margins that they occupied for centuries. Now, I can already hear the arguments that this strategy would only serve to impoverish the common people of these countries. I would counter this by saying that these people have not benefited much from this wealth to begin with. I have seen with my own eyes the vast disparity between the haves and have-nots in the Middle East. I have stood in opulent marble palaces gilded with gold only mere kilometers from peasants living in hovels without even basic sanitation.

As it stands, the oppressive theocracies and military dictatorships that rule these countries have absolutely no incentive to change their social and international policies as long as they hold the rest of the world hostage to our own needs for their fuel.

Of course, there are many other valid reasons why we should be weaning ourselves from fossil fuels. Global warming debate aside, it is horribly toxic. It pollutes air, water, soil and is chocked full of carcinogens. We all know that. Not to mention the fact that there is only a finite amount available. The question is why haven’t we stopped using it yet? Why do we not better utilize the resources already have available to us? We are an insanely wasteful society when we need not be. Why are we continuing to pack landfills when nearly everything that we discard can and should be recycled?

Technologies to break our petrochemical addiction have existed for quite some time. When I was in high school, I worked for a time on a small dairy farm. Even a small farm of this type produces tons of a largely untapped natural resource: cow shit. One cannot imagine just how much is produced until one has had to shovel it. The owner told me about larger commercial farms that convert this into methane gas. These farms utilize the methane to run their equipment and even produce electricity. Not only are they completely self sufficient, they even sell surplus electricity to the local power grid. For years, farmers in the mid west have used self-produced ethanol to meet their fuel requirements. My point is that there are alternatives out there; we simply need to exercise some innovation.

So, I wish Willie the best of luck with his venture. I hope that this is just the beginning of a much larger trend. We owe it to ourselves and our planet to make fossil fuels as extinct as the dinosaurs whose carcasses they are made from.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Battlestar Galactica

One of the biggest disappointments for me having deployed to Iraq was, believe it or not, missing the original airing of the Battlestar Galactica miniseries on the Sci-Fi Channel in December of 2003. Yes, I know one would think that there would be a million things that I would miss more…But what can I say, I’m a fuckin’ geek. Ok?

To my disappointment, it was not rebroadcast upon my return. When I flew out to San Francisco last October, I was lucky enough to find that my new friend Jack had recorded it. Joy! Unfortunately, I only had the opportunity to view the first half of this grand space epic before I was foiled by technical malfunctions. Having been sufficiently teased, I have since anxiously awaited its release on DVD.

Two weeks ago, my prayers were finally answered. Or so I had initially thought. None of the video stores or electronic super-chains in this southern-fried cultural black hole in which I am forced to reside had procured more than a mere handful of copies apiece. These were quickly snatched up by like-minded, albeit more timely nerds, leaving me feeling frustrated and desperate; bitterly cursing the shortsightedness of the managers of the various local video emporia. Anyway, last night I stumbled across a cache of DVD’s at Wal-Mart and although the Sci-Fi Channel is going to finally rebroadcast the program this week, I could wait no longer. I immediately purchased a copy; snatching it from the rack as if it were the last jug of drinking water on the shelf before an impending natural disaster.

I loved the original TV series when I was a kid. At six years old, I had absolutely no idea that it pure schlock. Due primarily to technical and budgetary constraints (certainly not lack of popularity) it was doomed to only air for one glorious season on ABC. For its time, it was one hell of a show. Unfortunately, such glowing accolades can not be bestowed on the show’s dreadful sequel “Galactica 1980”…we’ll simply pretend that that one didn’t exist. When I heard rumors a few years back that Richard Hatch, who played Apollo in the original series, was writing a screen play for a modern sequel I was intrigued. When I heard that Universal studios smacked him down because he had no claim to the show’s copyrights and reveled that they had their own Galactica project in the works, I became even more enthralled with the idea. It turned out that this venture was to be a complete remake rather than a sequel.

The original Battlestar Galactica was, of course, a product of it’s time. Even though it was part of the post Star Wars space opera genre, it was sufficiently original and clever enough to distinguish itself as something different. That said, watching it now through more worldly eyes, I find it to be just a bit too campy for my tastes these days. The remake, by contrast, is in my opinion, far more realistic. I don’t mean the overall premise that our human species here on Earth is somehow descended from an ancient space faring people who just happened to have evolved in such a way as to culturally approximate contemporary terrestrial western culture. That's just silly. No, what I mean is that this program takes a hard (some would say dark) look at some issues that our very relevant to the modern human condition. Although the overall plot is nearly identical to the original, the latest incarnation doesn’t gloss over the underling impetus for the protagonists exodus across the stars to seek the refuge of the long lost thirteenth colony (Earth). The new miniseries embraces these issues. I am talking about the very topical subjects of war and genocide. Also, the show introduces the concept that the enemy (the Cylons) are no longer simply some alien force with a vague and unexplained hatred of humanity, but are in fact creations of humanity who have evolved beyond the point where they can be controlled and have decided to replace us as the dominant species. This reflects our own society’s growing discomfort with the rapidly accelerating fields of science and technology, which are increasingly developing beyond our own ability to understand their expanding implications to our culture. Against this backdrop are placed flawed and realistic characters whose motivations and interactions with each other are as complex as our own. This is in stark contrast to the idealized heroes and two dimensional villains of the old series. I think it makes for compelling viewing.

One of the aspects of the remake that has caused some amount of controversy amongst die hard fans of the original is the fact that two formerly male characters are now cast as women. The swashbuckling, cigar smoking “Starbuck” made famous by Dirk Benedict is now played by Katee Sackhoff (with absolutely no discernable deviation from the original character) and the role of “Boomer” is portrayed by the lovely and talented Grace Park (who has just dethroned Diane Mizota as the cutest woman on television). I, for one, don’t understand what the big deal is. The characters work either way. I think that the new casting simply reflects our modern sensibilities about the equality of women. In the world of Battlestar, women and men occupy equal roles in society and manage to do so without compromising their unique gender identities. I wonder why some people are genuinely intimidated by that concept. Are people being fanatical purists to the original show, or are they simply misogynists? I began to think about this question at length and after honest self analysis, found to my dismay that I may not be as progressive as I had assumed myself to be.

When I watch these women on the screen fulfilling military combat roles, it seems quite natural to me that they should be included. Then, I remember that as an infantryman, I am a member of an organization that explicitly excludes two groups: women and gays. I am brought back to an old internal debate that has been seething in my head for quite some time now. This is a question which I still have yet to resolve: Should women be allowed into combat jobs? Should openly gay people be allowed in the military? To me, these are not separate issues, as I shall explain in a moment. My initial reaction is of course they should. I don’t consider myself to be misogynist or homophobic…quite the opposite. In my own small way, I try to be an advocate of equal rights. I soundly reject the arguments of inherent inability as ridiculous. Even in a physically demanding job such as mine, there are many woman who are up to the task (although they are admittedly uncommon). So why is there even an issue as far as I’m concerned? Because I am honest with my self. I mentally place myself into certain scenarios and think about how I would react. I used to think that I was professional enough that these things would not make a difference. Most of the time, they wouldn’t. Experience had taught me however, that this is unfortunately not always the case.

If you would be so kind as to indulge me, let me relate a quick story to you to illustrate my point. When I first returned to the post where I am currently stationed, I was assigned to the replacement detachment for in-processing for about a week. Being a non-commissioned officer, I was often put in charge of the newly arrived soldiers, ensuring that they were accounted for and that they made it to the places where they needed to go. It was during this time that I met a young private first class, who changed the way that I view this subject. Without boring you with all the details, suffice it to say that I thought that she was beautiful. The more that I interacted with her, I came to realize that she had a personality that seemed to be almost a mirror of my own. Before long, I was thoroughly smitten. Please don’t misunderstand, I had never had any dishonorable intentions of any kind toward her and I was never so foolish as to consider trying to pursue any kind of relationship with her. The fact remained however, that despite my better judgment, I found myself quite taken with her. Fortunately, since we were only assigned to the detachment for a few days, this was not an issue. Soon, we went to our respective units with no one but myself even remotely aware of my attraction to her.

About nine months later, I found myself deployed to Afghanistan. I spent a large portion of my time there stationed on a small forward operating base near the Pakistani border. The isolated base was only about the size of a city block, with a compliment of about eight hundred men and about half a dozen women… One of whom was, you guessed it. I had decided to befriend her primarily since she was far more interesting to talk to than most members of my own unit and of course, she was really cute. In retrospect, it is clear to me that this was a very foolish decision on my part. It wasn’t long before I found myself spending most of my very limited free time with her. Soon, I began to think about her all of the time, when I should have been focusing on my job. Here I was, a thirty year old man rapidly developing a school-boy crush. This was the last thing that I needed in a combat zone. When we would receive rocket attacks, my thoughts were immediately of her safety instead of that of my own men. I was consciously aware of these feelings developing within my heart, but I seemed absolutely powerless to do anything about it. Nothing inappropriate ever transpired between us. For her part, she certainly never viewed me as anything more than somebody to play cards or drink tea with. That wasn’t the point. In the stress and social isolation of that environment my emotional attachment to her became almost crippling to the point where it seemed to me that most of my energy went to suppressing it. How was I supposed to lead troops in combat with anything less than total focus? It certainly wasn’t fair to my soldiers.

I would often joke with my soldiers that I would have traded any of them in for her because pound for pound, she was stronger, faster and smarter than any of them. These things were all true. However, it had become clear to me that I could never possibly have been effective as her leader. In my line of work, I am often called upon to issue orders to my troopers that could very well put an abrupt end their lives (ordering them to sweep for mines or booby traps for example). I honestly don’t know if I could have issued such an order to her. Not because she was a woman, but because she was a woman that I had come to adore despite myself. My friend Karen once told me that “If someone is being protected, they are not being treated equally.” Equal treatment is crucial for a leader to dispense if they are to be effective. The situation was bad enough as it was, if she had been my direct subordinate, it would have been a disaster.

Once I recalled this hard learned lesson, I asked myself how much worse it would be if I were gay, constantly surrounded by guys who I know are absolute studs. Even taking the homophobia factor out of the equation, I wonder how effective a leader I could be. In a very real way I already love my soldiers. I think of most of them as my little brothers. Sometimes, this makes impartiality difficult enough. Could I really be fair and impartial if I were to develop feelings of attraction for one of them? I honestly don’t know. If I were gay, I’m sure such attractions would be almost inevitable for me. I am a very passionate person by nature and when I fall for someone, I tend to fall hard. I understand this aspect of my personality, and I understand that self discipline only governs one’s actions, not one’s emotions. These emotions are cause of complications that destroy cohesion and morale. So, even though I wish I could say differently, I tend to see through analysis of my own character flaws that perhaps my job is necessarily exclusive. This is certainly not the conclusion I wish to come to, but it seems to be the answer I get.

Since, most of the people that I know of that read this thing are women, and a good chunk of the men that that read this blog happen to be gay, perhaps you can show me the flaws in my logic. In fact, I am begging you to. Please argue this point since my own intellectual honesty seems to be whipping my idealism’s ass.

Anyway, my little philosophical tangent aside (sorry), I really enjoyed the Battlestar Galactica remake and I’m looking forward to the actual series that premieres this Friday. Even if it doesn’t quite live up to the standard set by the miniseries, along with Andromeda and Star Trek: Enterprise, it should still make for an entertaining Friday night.

Monday, January 03, 2005

My two cents on the armor debate

As I watch the news each day, I can hardly get through a single half hour cycle without the subject of vehicle armor for the troops in Iraq coming up. While I agree, that our service members deserve the best protection that our nation can provide them, I think that the majority of lay-people watching this debate could benefit from some perspective on why things ended up this way and how it may not be as simple a matter as it seems.

I will begin by saying that this conflict is a new paradigm for the U.S. military. Never before has mobility been such an important component for all of our forces on the ground. The conventional military thought throughout the “Cold War” was to divide our land force structure into two categories: heavy and light. Heavy units were conceived around the concepts of battlefield mobility and survivability. The centerpiece of these units is the mighty M1A2 Abrams tank. The Abrams’ supporting infantry units travel in M2 Bradley IFV’s (Infantry Fighting Vehicles). These units are the Army’s main force, designed to slug it out toe to toe with the Soviet hordes in Germany’s Fulda Gap. These units are awesome in there capabilities, they can maneuver around their areas of operations much faster than troops on foot, carry unmatched firepower, and are very well protected from all but the most powerful enemy weapons. However, these units have two glaring flaws. First, they take literally months to deploy. Everything must be prepared and transported to the nearest port by rail, then loaded aboard ships, taken to the nearest friendly port to the battle front, and moved from there hundreds of miles to where they are ultimately needed. Second is that there are many environments where heavy armor is not always appropriate or effective, i.e., jungles, mountains, and under certain circumstances, urban areas. Oh yeah, they are incredibly expensive too.

Enter the light concept. Though lacking the mobility, firepower or survivability (actually, as I’ll discuss later, the survivability of dismounted light troops is very good by virtue of the fact that present much smaller targets to the enemy) of the heavies, they are much faster deploy, much cheaper to equip, and are far more flexible in complex terrain. Take the 82nd Airborne Division for example. The 82nd , by virtue of the fact that it has always had the requirement to be capable of projecting all of its combat power to the battlefield via parachute, has historically had very few vehicles as part of its normal compliment. The vehicles that it does have organic to it are necessarily light-weight (read unarmored) to facilitate ease of parachute insertion. This system has worked well for over fifty years because it reflected the capabilities required for what the unit was designed to do: rapid seizure of strategic targets (airfields mostly) anywhere on the planet within less than a day’s notice. The idea is once an airfield has been seized, it effectively opens up an “airhead” whereby a limited number of heavy forces may be air landed to reinforce the lightly equipped paratroopers.

For many years the 82nd made up for its lack of organic armor by utilizing a battalion of obsolete Vietnam-era armored reconnaissance vehicles (ARV) known as the M551 Sheridan. Sheridans weren’t true tanks, their rolled aluminum armor could never withstand the punishment that a tank’s hull could take…but they did at least provide the paratroopers with two distinct advantages, they could be deployed by parachute, and they at least looked like tanks. In many situations, this was enough to keep the locals at bay. By the mid nineties, the Sheridans had become too long in the tooth to keep in service. They were far to slow to be practical on the modern battlefield and since they had been out of production for decades, spare parts were quickly drying up. They were to be replaced with the M8 armored gun system (AGS), a true light tank as modern and capable as any system out there. However, post cold war budget cuts sealed the fate of this idea leaving the 82nd with no armor capability of its own.

In the late nineties, Army planners, Chief of Staff Gen. Eric Shinseki in particular, recognized the need for medium units combining the lethality and mobility of heavy units with the deployability of light units. This reflected the realities of post Soviet era military requirements. These brigades are based around a wheeled, armored combat vehicle known as a Stryker (sorry Jack, it wasn’t named after Jeff), which is essentially an upgraded LAV25, already in use for years by the USMC. Unfortunately, as with any hybrid concept, there are always trade offs. The new units did fill the gap, but lacked the full capabilities of either of the earlier types.

Fast forward to Operation Iraqi Freedom. With the vast areas that needed to be covered by limited numbers of troops, and use of helicopters en-mass a risky (and expensive) proposition at best, it was determined that ground mobility was going to be the name of the game. It seemed that this was to be a war tailor made for the new Stryker Brigades. There was only one problem. There were none yet ready to go into combat, and even if they were, there were nowhere near enough of them to do the job. The solution? Make forces that are normally light, motorized. That is, equip soldiers that normally walk everywhere with trucks. The army experimented with this concept in the 1980’s with the now defunct 9th Infantry Division. For some reason, at the time it was considered to be a waste of resources. Given the doctrine of the era, it probably was. Anyway, this is how my company which normally only has one HMMWV pronounced "humvee")assigned to it, suddenly found itself in Kuwait with eighteen vehicles.

As I said before, there are always trade offs. Equipping a unit in such a way offers many obvious advantages, such as the ability to cover distances in minutes what would normally take hours, with troops arriving rested and ready to fight, and the ability to carry almost limitless amounts of ammunition and additional equipment. However, this arrangement also brings with it its own set of unique problems. For example, light infantry leaders such as myself, with no schooling in mounted warfare, had to re-learn almost everything. Basic skills such as land navigation and communications take on a very different dynamic at fifty miles per hour, with your elements spread out over distances measured in kilometers rather than mere meters. The biggest disadvantage is survivability.

A dismounted infantryman relies on his relative small size and agility to protect himself from enemy fire. When grunts make contact with the enemy they can disperse and seek cover, thereby mitigating the enemy’s ability to engage them. Usually a small rock or a shallow ditch provides more than enough protection from enemy fire. Obviously, one cannot do this as easily with a vehicle. The heavier units deal with this problem by utilizing heavily armored vehicles that can withstand enemy fire (such as the Bradley or Stryker) and can also be used as a fighting platform bringing an overpowering array of heavy weapon systems (25mm automatic cannon for example) to bear on the enemy. The HMMWV is a tactical vehicle, but certainly NOT a fighting vehicle. It is simply a carrier designed to move troops, weapons or equipment from point A to point B. It was never designed to be used directly in battle, but to move things around well to the rear of the front lines (of course in Iraq as with most modern conflicts, there are no front lines). Even the ones used as TOW (guided missile) platforms to hunt tanks use ambush tactics to avoid making direct contact. For this reason, they are, for the most part, not armored, nor were they designed to be.

I’ll use my own vehicle as an example. When I arrived in Kuwait I was issued a “rock-stock” M998 HMMWV that according to its markings had belonged to the Rhode Island Army National Guard. She was an older model, lacking the beefed up suspension and engine of the newer types, but in overall excellent shape. Since I was in charge of a “weapons” squad with two M240B machine guns, since one of these was to be mounted on my truck, it was outfitted with a machine gun mount that was locally fabricated and installed under the supervision of the Army Materiel Command (AMC). This device alone weighed about a quarter ton. It did however, offer the advantage of adding 10mm of boiler plate steel to the floor of the bed. As had been done with tactical vehicles since the Vietnam war, we lined the floors with sandbags to mitigate the effects of mines. I stacked more sandbags along the side railings of the bed to add at least some protection for my gun crew, however I was mindful not to overdo it since my truck only had a maximum weight capacity of 2500lbs. I smeared mud over the woodland camouflaged paint to allow it to better blend with the desert environment and removed the fabric doors to allow ease of exit for myself and to allow maximum airflow in the 130 degree heat. Most of the vehicles in my unit were configured in this way sans gun mount. This setup seemed to me to be pretty good…not ideal, but pretty good. With a full combat load of men and equipment, I was right at the maximum weight limit. The truck was a bit sluggish, but it wasn’t struggling to haul the load. I thought that I had struck a fair balance between protection and mobility. Circumstances however, soon dictated drastic modification to this initial configuration.

Within seventy two hours of my unit’s arrival in Iraq, Trevor Blumberg was killed by an improvised explosive device (IED) while riding in the back of a HMMWV during a patrol just outside Falluja. The device had been fashioned from a South African 140mm artillery shell, and had been buried just beneath the surface of the road. No amount of sand bags could do anything against that kind if explosion. It lifted the entire vehicle several feet into the air.

I don’t blame the chain of command for reacting the way that they did. How could they face the family of the next soldier to get killed having done nothing to ensure that he was protected? Their initial solution was less than ideal. They ordered us to double the amount of sand bags on our vehicles. As we labored away at this task, I saw SSG Foster, Blumberg’s squad leader, who had been riding in the vehicle when it was destroyed, standing there watching us shaking his head. “ I tried to tell them that it wouldn’t have made any difference, but they wouldn’t listen.”

Of course he was right. It wouldn’t have made any difference at all. In fact, it only made us more vulnerable, since our vehicles, already operating at their limits began to literally break beneath the added weight. Our suspicions were confirmed a few weeks later when a M2 Bradley was destroyed by a similar device. We all knew what that meant. If these IEDs could take out a Brad’ then our HMMWVs are vulnerable regardless of how much shit we stack on them. So the question became this: Is it better to have the ability to move or to be weighed down with useless “protection”? To us, the answer was clear. Slowly, sandbags began to get “lost” from the backs of vehicles and they weren’t being replaced.

About a month later, my first sergeant came up with a brilliant solution. Each unit was given several thousand dollars a day to improve their living standards. The idea was that it was a good way to pump much needed money into the local economy and improve morale at the same time. We used the money to buy air conditioners, washing machines, television sets, and things of that nature. The first sergeant thought, why not pay local contractors to weld steel plate onto our vehicles? Why not indeed. We took several different samples of scrap steel of various thickness and shot them up with a captured AK. In this way, we determined the thickness that offered the best protection to weight ratio. We had a prototype truck fitted with the new armor and the results were spectacular. Weight was reduced drastically and we at least now had some protection from most small arms fire. Once the brigade headquarters found out about our project, they opened a contract to have every vehicle in the taskforce refitted. Suddenly, we looked like something out of a Mad Max movie or an episode of the A-Team. The trucks were still grossly overloaded, but after the whole sandbag fiasco, they seemed to run like racecars.

As the deployment progressed, some aftermarket armor upgrades made of Kevlar began to filter down the pipe…but never in large quantities and by then it was largely a moot point anyway. Eventually, we received doors cut from German Armox ballistic steel. Although they could supposedly withstand .50 caliber fire (a claim to which I am still doubtful), I never cared for these doors for several reasons. One, because I actually preferred being in the open. I trusted my the Kevlar and ceramics of my body armor more than steel plates to protect me. I favored having no doors because it meant that I could ride “side saddle”,. I could scan the side of the road for enemy activity and shoot if necessary. Also, this arrangement allowed me to spring from my vehicle quickly so that I could react to whatever situation presented itself. Being seat belted in behind these massive plates prevented that. The doors also were a pain in the ass because they would rattle and often break loose. As I said 998’s were not designed to be armored. The mountings were built for light weight doors of fabric or fiberglass, not 120lb slabs of homogenous steel. When I was ordered to have them installed, I sited the assassination of Alfred Herrhausen, head of Deutche Bank, by terrorists of the Red Army Faction in 1989, and received only blank stares. Ok, ok, I’ll explain myself. Herr Herrhausen was riding in an armored limousine in Gemany when he was killed. A roadside IED hidden in a book bag on a bicycle detonated and sent his armor plated door into him killing him almost instantly.

My unit did have two purpose built “up armored” HMMWVs. These vehicles were designed during the nineties for peace keeping operations after the debacle in Mogadishu and are essentially ten thousand pound armored cars. They were built from the ground up as armored vehicles and feature heavy-duty suspensions and supercharged engines. They each have a reinforced frame with a rotating machinegun cupola, and are completely encased in Kevlar, steel and bullet-proof glass. The primary flaws of this type of vehicle are that their excessive weight which causes them to get stuck more readily than a standard HMMWV, and their limited seating capacity. For me, the latter was not an issue since I seldom carried more than five personnel on my vehicle anyway. So although it was not a universal solution to our units needs, it did make a fine weapons platform which was good enough for me. These vehicles had other goodies such as GPS uplinks built in. One of the missions that performed regularly was as “advanced guard”…essentially, going ahead of the main element scout out the route. The vehicle excelled in this role.

I used them whenever possible, although it was mainly for my crew’s benefit. I personally felt like some sort of half-assed cosmonaut strapped into this hermetically sealed tin can with a clip board on my knee, multiple radios chattering in my ear and an illuminated touch screen in my face. There was literally no room. I could not move. If I dropped something I could not retrieve it from the floor without getting out altogether (which in itself was no small task). I could not see anything except what was directly ahead or to my immediate right. I had to rely on my gunner to be my eyes. I didn’t care for that. My crew on the other hand, loved these things. They had seen them hit antitank mines in Afghanistan, and although the vehicles were of course destroyed, their crews always walked away from them. They are impressive machines, and psychologically my soldier’s confidence in them made a huge difference during a patrol. They were free to concentrate on the task at hand and worry less about their own safety.

I guess that is what this whole armor issue is about: confidence. Most of us that have been there realize damn well that the armor is ultimately a placebo. It will not always protect against the two biggest threats that our vehicles face: IEDs and rocket propelled grenades (RPGs). Personally, I prefer the speed and off road handling that a light weight vehicle affords. This does not absolve Congress, the Pentagon, and ultimately the American people from ensuring that these things are provided for our service members who are putting their asses on the line. Soldiers FEEL MORE CONFIDENT in an armored vehicle. Confidence is crucial to success in combat. And yes, this armor does indeed save lives...almost daily. Isn’t that worth a few million? We are the United States For Christ’s sake… The richest nation on earth. During WW2 we stopped building cars just to build tanks and airplanes for the war effort. Surely we can produce a few thousand purpose built armored trucks that suit our tactical needs? I know they exist, I’ve seen them. Cost be damned. Wouldn’t you want your kid to have the best protection money could buy?


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